I could never ever be a stay at home mom…
Friends? Traditional roles have been completely thrown out the window in our home.
Let me back up.
As a kid, my mom stayed home with us until I was in the 6th grade. Even then she was still home mostly. She not only raised three kids, but I can’t ever remember our house being a disaster area or having toys strewn about or having crumbs all over the floor.
Unless dad was in charge.
Fast forward to today, Saturday, December 18, 2010.
It is my first day of winter break. The first day of a lovely 2-week long stretch.
In my mind? We are all happy and family-ish together since I am always gone. We cuddle and play and eat and just enjoy each other without too much commitment elsewhere.
you guys? today? did not happen like that.
First of all, our kitchen faucet died yesterday, so this morning, Cort has everything out from under the sink spread all over the island, the table, and the counters. He also has pulled out the old faucet, and he is off to Lowe’s for the new parts. In case you didn’t know? Cort can do anything. He is all Handy Manny up in here.
Has he ever done any plumbing before? No. But he is all awesome at it anyway. Because that is how he rolls.
So I am in charge of our Short Stack while daddy is gone.
No big deal, right?
In the course of the hour that daddy is gone….
- Eddie rolls 3 different toy vehicles across the coffee table and into our Christmas tree exploding needles from here to Florida.
- Eddie takes a giant dump.
- Eddie takes his Golden Graham snack and spreads it all over the floor announcing that his bowl is ‘aww unnn” (all gone). riiiiiggght.
- I decide to give Eddie left over penne noodles and sauce for lunch.
- Eddie decides to throw penne noodles and sauce at the floor, the cat, the wall, the blinds, the table, and finally in his mouth.
- Eddie decides to wear red sauce and noodles (thank goodness for my decision not to put clothes on him after his dumpy diaper change)
- I have to clean Eddie off by standing him on the counter…where all the “treasures” from under the sink still are…which he REALLY wants to explore while I scrub red sauce out from under his pits.
- I change his diaper again because the outside is covered in red sauce that while tasty? Does not match my house.
Just as I have Eddie cleaned up and dressed, Cort comes back in. The scene? It looks like a pine tree that was snacking on golden grahams was murdered by noodle-pelting.
Eddie is all happy and playing and watching Sesame Street on Tivo.
I? I am standing there with dirty wipes in my hands…waving them as white flags.
Seriously? What the hell just happened?
So I ask Cort…
“Why doesn’t this happen to you? Why, in an HOUR of being left alone, do I get it ALL?”
“It does happen. Every day. Constantly.”
WHAT? How does he deal with it?
He patiently puts down his Lowe’s purchases, takes the wipes, and directs me to sit down.
He then proceeds to clean up the crime scene high chair/kitchen area while I sit and ponder where I lost my “mom patience”.
And then I realize…
I never had it.
I go to work, I bring home the paycheck, I make some dinners once in a while, and I cuddle the boy when he is sick, scared, or hurt.
Everything else? Cort.
I have often wondered why, if he is home all day, is the house not smelling of bleach and lysol when I get home.
Now I know.
One small little man can reek havoc on a small house in the time it takes to go blow my nose.
As Cort was finishing up the tidying process and moving onto installing a faucet? I said, “I sort of wish I was at work.”
Even though I don’t.